World Peace and Sausages
To the Editor,
As the clock ticks its way toward 2025, I find myself grappling with two profoundly unsettling questions: can the world ever truly know peace in these turbulent times? And why, oh why, are sausages so universally wonderful yet so deeply misunderstood?
Let us first address the weighty matter of world affairs. The troubles in Ukraine persist, the Middle East remains fraught with tension, and every time I turn on the news, I am greeted by headlines that make me long for the simpler chaos of assembling flat-pack furniture. Leaders meet, treaties are signed, and yet the world still feels like a pot on the stove — always about to boil over.
And then there are sausages. Beautiful, delicious sausages. Whether sizzling in a pan, nestled in a bap, or artfully speared on a cocktail stick, they represent the one undeniable truth of human existence: that no problem is so great it cannot be momentarily forgotten in the presence of properly cooked pork in tube form. Yet I wonder — are sausages not a metaphor for world peace?
Consider this: every sausage is a harmonious blend of ingredients, spices, and textures, all working together to create something greater than the sum of its parts. Surely, if onions and breadcrumbs can coexist peacefully inside a casing, then nations, too, can find a way to get along. But herein lies the conundrum — why does the world struggle to replicate the unity of a Cumberland ring?
Perhaps the answer lies in the humble sausage itself. Have we, as a society, been neglecting its potential as a diplomatic tool? What if, instead of trade sanctions, international summits began with a communal sausage feast? Picture it: presidents and prime ministers, sausages in hand, realising that while they may disagree on geopolitics, they all appreciate a well-seasoned banger.
Of course, there are challenges. The vegetarian contingent might demand tofu sausages, and let us not even speak of the logistical nightmare posed by the French insistence on merguez. But if we could solve these dilemmas, perhaps we would find ourselves inching closer to global harmony.
In the meantime, as we approach the uncertainty of 2025, I propose a simple, sausage-fuelled New Year’s resolution: let us each strive to embody the spirit of the sausage —flexible, flavourful, and able to bring people together at breakfast t, lunch, or dinner. And should the world’s leaders be reading this, I urge you to consider my suggestion seriously. The path to peace, I firmly believe, begins with a perfectly cooked sausage.
Yours, contemplating both sausages and salvation,
Gwendolyn Bangersley
(Amateur sausage enthusiast and hopeful peacemaker)