Trump and Vinted Bargains
To the Editor,
I write to you today in a delightful muddle, caught between the swirling storms of international politics and the far more immediate joy of retro fashion. First, the news that President Trump’s inauguration ceremony (yes, it seems we’re doing that again) will now take place indoors due to inclement weather. And second, the arrival of a rather splendid and undeniably stylish retro jacket I purchased from Vinted, which turned up in the post this morning like a beacon of sartorial hope.
Let us begin with the inauguration. One can only imagine the scenes in Washington — torrential rain, winds threatening to blow toupees skyward, and umbrellas performing their usual role of flipping inside out at precisely the wrong moment. Moving the ceremony indoors makes sense, of course, but I can’t help but feel something is lost in the transition. Where is the drama of Trump gesticulating grandly against a stormy backdrop, the crowd clutching soggy MAGA hats, and the world’s meteorologists collectively wincing?
And then there’s my jacket. Oh, what a thing of beauty! A glorious concoction of 1970s flair, complete with exaggerated lapels and a pattern so bold it could start a political movement of its own. The moment I put it on, I felt like a cross between a disco king and an off-duty detective from a TV show no one remembers. If only the inauguration were still outdoors, I’d gladly lend it to Trump — it’s waterproof, windproof, and guaranteed to distract from any speeches gone awry.
Naturally, I can’t help but wonder if these two events are connected. Did the jacket arrive on this very day as a sign? Could it be that I am meant to wear it while delivering an impromptu indoor address, channeling the spirit of 1970s America while debating the merits of indoor ceremonies versus outdoor pageantry? Or perhaps the jacket is simply my small act of rebellion, a reminder that while the weather may force world leaders inside, I can still look fabulous regardless of the forecast.
That said, the jacket does come with challenges. It’s so eye-catching that I fear I may be mistaken for an eccentric ambassador from an obscure nation. Worse still, it has inspired a strange urge to address everyone I meet with a booming "My fellow citizens!" — an impulse that has already startled the postman and my neighbours cat.
In any case, I shall watch the indoor inauguration with keen interest, my jacket draped over the arm of my sofa like a retro flag of defiance. If President Trump would like to borrow it for his speech, he’s welcome — though I would advise he pairs it with something understated, as not everyone can handle the full power of vintage fashion.
Yours, caught between the weather and the wardrobe,
Reginald Lapelworthy*
(Local jacket enthusiast and reluctant political observer)