Re-booting the Civil Service 2.0
To the Editor,
I write today with an equal measure of curiosity and bemusement, having just heard the Labour government’s bold call for the Civil Service to transform itself into a private sector tech start-up. While the idea is intriguing, I can’t help but wonder if it’s a case of asking a walrus to think like a hummingbird — both admirable creatures, but with entirely different vibes.
The Civil Service, bless it, is a great lumbering machine of quiet efficiency and obscure acronyms. It runs on decades of tradition, the occasional cup of tea, and the kind of cautious deliberation that ensures no decision is ever made in haste. A tech start-up, on the other hand, runs on chaos, beanbags, and buzzwords like "disruption" and "synergy" — words I imagine might cause an actual civil servant to break out in hives.
The transformation the government calls for is a daring one, but I wonder: does this mean civil servants will now wear hoodies to meetings and sit on yoga balls instead of chairs? Will the annual budget report be delivered via PowerPoint pitch decks, featuring pie charts labeled “ideation pipeline” and “growth hacking”? Will the National Archives be rebranded as "DataCloud"?
And what of the startup mentality of “move fast and break things”? I shudder to think of it applied to something like the tax code. Imagine a chatbot handling your HMRC inquiry: “Sorry, we’re pivoting—can you try again after our next funding round?”
Then there’s the issue of funding itself. Private tech start-ups thrive on investors throwing money at ideas like smart fridges and blockchain-enabled toothbrushes. The Civil Service, however, must justify every penny spent to a parliamentary committee. One imagines the Department for Work and Pensions launching a Kickstarter campaign: “Support our new Universal Credit interface and get a free tote bag!”
In closing, I admit I’m left both intrigued and alarmed by this proposition. Could the Civil Service thrive on tech start-up energy, or will it collapse under the weight of agile frameworks and Slack channels? Perhaps, like all things, the answer lies somewhere in the middle — ideally in a place with neither beanbags nor acronyms.
Yours in bewildered brainstorming and cautious disruption,
A Confused Supporter of Both Public Service and Puzzling Ideas