On Trudeau and Satsumas
To the Editor,
I write to you today in a state of considerable perplexity, grappling with two weighty matters that seem to have collided in my mind like a pair of runaway moose on an icy Canadian highway. First, the shocking news that Justin Trudeau has announced plans to step down as Canadaās prime minister. And second, the far more immediate crisis of two slightly wrinkled satsumas sitting on my kitchen counter, daring me to eat them before they turn to mush.
Let us begin with Trudeau. It seems only yesterday that the man was gracing the world stage with his perfect hair and the kind of charisma that makes even a casual handshake look like a historic event. And now, heās preparing to hang up his political boots (or perhaps his snowshoes) and leave the fate of Canada to... well, someone else, presumably less photogenic but hopefully still capable of navigating NAFTA negotiations without bursting into song.
And then there are the satsumas. They were once plump, vibrant, and full of promise, but time has not been kind to them. Now they sit there, a little sad, their skins starting to sag like a deflated hot air balloon. I know I must eat them soon, yet every time I pick one up, I am filled with doubt. Will they be bitter? Too soft? A metaphor, perhaps, for the fleeting nature of political careers?
Naturally, I canāt help but wonder if these two events are somehow connected. Did Trudeau, upon glimpsing a bowl of slightly past-their-prime satsumas, have a sudden epiphany about his own tenure? Did he look at their puckered skins and think, āYes, the time has come. Better to bow out with dignity than to overstay my welcomeā? If so, I commend him for his satsuma-inspired clarity, even as I wrestle with my own citrus conundrum.
Yet, the more I ponder, the more questions arise. What will Canada do without Trudeau? What will I do without these satsumas? Can they be salvaged with a sprinkling of sugar? Should I attempt to juice them, or would that only highlight their inadequacies? And, most importantly, should I write to Trudeau suggesting he consider a retirement hobby involving marmalade-making?
For now, I shall focus on the satsumas. If Trudeau can make the tough decision to step down as leader of an entire country, surely I can muster the courage to peel these fruit and face whatever lies beneath. Who knowsāperhaps they will surprise me, just as Canadaās next prime minister will (hopefully) surprise the world.
Yours, in citrus-fuelled contemplation,
Beatrix Peelworthy)
(Watcher of Canadian politics, eater of questionable satsumas)